Pulling at the Same Strings: Deliberate Dialogue in Action

Emerging from deliberate dialogue spaces at Convene we invariably discuss the level of ambition and intensity, the challenges and the key learnings we are able to take away from the gathering. We’re often met with one surprise after another, requiring us to be agile and work to integrate new information and shifts into the flow of our curation.

We are in continuous experimentation mode, constantly learning, deepening our understanding and honing our methods and skills with each dialogue we convene. 

Coming out of one of our most complex projects of 2022 so far, a hybrid leadership transition week-long retreat with over twenty onsite participants in addition to a blend of virtual dialoguers, we’re proud to have played a role in their co-defined  pathways towards real public-facing action-oriented solutions.  

How do you convince over twenty individuals, some of whom have never met in person, to pull at the same strings and work together as one aligned group? How do you curate a space for authentic and empathetic dialogue with a heterogeneous group where each has their own interests alongside and sometimes in contradiction with the collective? What must be done in order to reach agreement on issues that have consequences not only for those in the room but also for those outside? What is the best way to deal with dissent and divergence? 

Creating a unique third space in which the world’s knottiest problems can be addressed takes courage, sensitivity and vigilance. We’re highly aware that it’s inadvisable to demand this courage from dialoguers precipitously - especially with so much at stake. But we shouldn’t shy away from making adjustments, even if we consider the status quo “good enough.” We shouldn’t shy away from going for the great. 

That’s why a good dialogue requires careful preparation over the course of many weeks - intellectual as well as emotional. Aligning the mindsets of dialoguers beforehand and building relationships based on co-creation and co-ownership where divergence is welcomed are some of the most essential elements of truly authentic deliberate dialogue. In this particular case, we began aligning over conversation, topic-unpacking and straw-dog co-creation starting three months before the dialoguers gathered in their week-long intimate space.

We’re well aware that even with extensive preparation and the anticipation of high risk environments, disagreement is often predestined. This is when both the Convener and Dialoguers need to lean in – to be risk-takers. Conveners must hone the ability to hold the dialogue space without controlling it and Dialoguers must learn to let go and embrace their collective authenticity. This flexible and fluid dance is navigated by the Convener in a delicate and nuanced manner. 

The space we curated showed once more that breakthrough moments were triggered through emotional connection. Moments of empathy where participants shared their personal stories with the group, took a walk outside in pairs, or reflected out loud, were crucial in demonstrating a phenomenal shift in their narrative.  Offering a structured yet informal space for  Dialoguers to prepare and share dinner together revealed both their true diversity and their ability to blend, create and succeed in harmony.  

While the group of Dialoguers came into the retreat with their own proposals, they came out with a compact - a social contract - committing to a common pathway forward. Through intense preparation, empathy and careful, but never risk-averse navigation, Dialoguers managed to reach solutions formed in an authentic co-creation process.

Collective pasta-making and -cooking unlocked new conversations and created a trust-based relationship.

After such a deliberate dialogue, a chapter closes, yet the book remains open – and worth reading. At Convene we have given ourselves the mandate to unlock solution pathways through dialogue, and to offer our Institutional Conveners and Dialoguers the tools to unlock their potential for change and impact. 

The compelling nature of deliberate dialogue, our growing Convene experience and insights and the growing critical necessity for this kind of deep engagement is pushing us to grow our mandate. We’re no longer looking to only deliver effective deliberate dialogues; we’re deliberately and rigorously interrogating the experience, tracking dialogue impact, and communicating to and beyond the Convene Circle. We’re leading by example – transforming our own internal and external dialoguing as we pivot towards action.